Yoga for a good poo & several other things that may help!
A good poo is seriously underrated if you ask me, apparently dropping a few kids in the pool up to three times a day is pretty normal. So many things can impact your ability to snap one off; stress, sleep, diet, hydration, medication, constipation, travel, a change in routine, pregnancy, exercise. Worse still you could have the last name Poo Tin and be the butt of several hundred poo jokes, and hated by millions the world over.
Dropping a log or two can actually result in poo-phoria this excellently named sensation occurs when your bowl movement stimulates your vagus nerve, the longest nerve in the body, it runs from your brainstem to your colon. Your vagus nerve is involved in key bodily functions, including digestion and regulating your heart rate and blood pressure. Poo-phoria is real.
Like most people I don't like the feeling of not being able to do a poo, and on the flip side I don't like the feeling of needing to rush to the nearest place and praying for toilet paper or at least a bucket of water and some soap. I have had my fair share of both experiences and like my life I like my poo to be balanced too.
I have some super embarrassing poo travel stories but I may have to save those for another blog entirely in fact I think that could be next weeks blog "Travel Poo Tales" watch this space.
This one time I went through a period of time drinking "Slim Tea" Don't do it, that shit is nasty, your pooping experiences will be painful right in the guts like knives painful and your kidneys will hate you. Better to ditch the processed food and introduce some leafy greens, seeds, fibre, water, ditch the soda and leave the doughnuts and mighty white on their respective shelves. And step away from those green boxed tea devils.
Top Poo Tip: One of my all time fave poocessories is a stool, like an actual stool not a poop kinda stool that sits in front of my toilet. Most of the world has it right when they pop a squat to go to do a number two. 30 years of wearing 4 inch heels makes popping a squat a challenge, also I have a standard western toilet so to help imitate the yogi squat or Malasana I have a small foot stool upon which my feet rest when I am going to the loo. Lifting the knees above hip height (with the feet supported)and moving your knees closer to the belly puts the appropriate amount of pressure on intestines and colon to make pooping eazy breazy.
Did you know that constipation is pretty common affecting roughly 20% of us! So for the 4 out of the 20 of you reading this blog here are some foods that can help you get things moving right along now or in the next 24 hours:
Prunes: I shit you not these babies are like little fibre rockets!
Kiwi Fruit: High in fibre but not something that I enjoy eating every day.
Apples: contain a soluble fibre called pectin, which is known for its laxative effect, an apple a day blah blah
Flax Seed: This can become yum when mixed with rolled oats, grated apple & coconut oil and warm water
Beans: beans means farts, yes and good healthy fibre filled poop.
Rhubarb: Cook it first otherwise you will poison yourself, but it contains a compound called sennoside
which has a laxative effect.
Chia Seeds: These bad boys are made up of about 40% fibre making them one of the most fibre dense foods available. In Indonesia they have a type of Basil plant called Kemangi its very similar to Chia.
OMG the first time I ate chia which was bout 20 years ago I bought it on the shelf and it was in a small orange plastic sachet, I ripped it open and necked the chia. EPIC FAIL It didn't bloody well come with instructions like "put in water for a few minutes then eat" did it now??? I nearly choked death in a whole foods store as it stole all available moisture form my throat It was only this year that I was brave enough to mix it into a smoothie bowl. True story.
Avocados: Yeah baby full of soluble fibre totally delicious.
Papaya: Fibre and water makes for a floaty pleasant morning poop. California red papaya are most delicious all year round in Bali so I have it sorted!
The bottom line is that there are a bazillion and one other foods that can assist in creating healthy easy exit floaty poos this is just for starters.
There are some simple yet effective yoga shapes that can assist you in getting things moving, you can use them any time of the day but I really like them in the morning. For your pooing pleasure I have included a little slide show below of 4 shapes that I find super helpful.
The nude version is available on OnlyFans. KIDDING.
1) Apanasana wind removing pose right knee into the ribs is ascending colon so do the right side first. tuck the chin into the chest so that you get the sexy neck folds and hug the knee in to the chest you can then slide the knee out towards the right arm pit. Keep the left foot planted on the earth close to your butt and see if you can flatten the spine to the earth. Take 6 to 8 breaths here.
2) Apanasana wind removing pose, left knee into the ribs is descending colon so do the left side second. instructions as per above but on the left.
3) Confusingly enough also called Apanasana or downward-moving life force pose hug both knees into the chest, tuck the chin into the throat to lengthen the cervical spine and roll your tail bone down to the earth as you exhale to flatten your spine to the earth. you can grab hold of each opposite elbow to create the bind or alternatively you can interlace your fingers or use a t-shirt towel or strap if you are struggling to reach around your shins.
4) Happy Baby, a baby with wind is not happy, they intuitively know to pull their knees into their chest and roll around grabbing their toes, letting go of the occasional butt puffer and preparing to poop so follow their lead!!
If you are still still poochallenged finding it a literal pain in the arse, perhaps you need a little assistance!
Here are a list of packaged poo assistants to get you grooving and moving.
Good Sense Stool Softener 100 mg Stimulant Free Softgels, 60 ct. works gently these are good to soften stools and generally produce a bowel movement in 12 to 72 hours. Not too strong, just right for when you need an easy exit.
Coloxyl 50mg Stool Softener 100 Tablets Stimulant Free Constipation Relief there are a few versions of this online so you can take a quiz & see which one is best for you, I like the tablet cause its easy. It does take up to 72 hours to get things swinging.
Digestic Laxative for Constipation Relief - Stool Softener - 100% Natural Ingredients
This is all natural and is a longer term strategy, it literally contains flowers and herbs as well as papaya, see i told you so. Ditch the Metamucil and go for this.
Nature's Quick Constipation Cure This is a long term learning strategy, the how did I get here to the how can I fix it understanding of your gut health, super interesting and informative and will help you get your gut and poo health back on track!
Don't forget if pain persists see your doctor
Also my dad will be pleased as there is no cussing in this blog, he is always on at me about my love of the 4 letter word.