Pusing Pusing. When old habits come in hot.
Updated: Aug 8, 2022
I am tired, capek sekali very tired.....so today has been a day of rest. My tiredness started as Pusing Pusing a fabulous Indonesian expression. It can mean that you are dizzy in the head or it can mean you have a headache. To the best of my knowledge its not ever used as a professional medical diagnosis more often than not its a personal internal dialogue or a commentary on your own mental state.
The last two weeks I have existed in various states involving multiple pusings. I have been writing content and copy, being creative kitty my own biz and another yoga business that needed an extra pair of creative eyes, teaching classes online, teaching in person and completing a 300hr YTTon line and magically thought I could layer on on a 4 day a week gig managing a hotel improvement project without it impacting all of my other goings on.
I acknowledge that not all my ball juggling efforts were Cirque de Soleil worthy performances, just to recap mainly for my own benefit thats 2 full time jobs, 3 if you count my own yoga business, 2 part time jobs, plus all social media and a 300 Hr YTT. What was I thinking??? Over achiever much? Why yes! Thanks for asking, that and I just didn't want to let anyone down or be broke.
Which is how I arrived with myself last on my own list of things that needed looking after.....
When your are overwhelmed overworking you don't take time out for you your body aka you are not practicing self care your body will make you take a time out. Throwing yourself at work may also masking underlying limiting beliefs, that are keeping you in this cycle. Many of us fail at levelling with ourselves, we think that if we are not doing enough or if we’re not on top of everything, that we’re not going to be ok, we are not going to belong, fit in or be loved if we don’t put ourselves last so that we can get everything done.
As fabulous as I am at multitasking and awesome as I am in general there is only so much kitty to go around, there are only so many minutes in a day and so much time that you can you can sit in front of your lap top and even less that you want to be on a zoom call, regardless of how cool the content is and how much you love what you are doing. Plus sitting for that long hurts my lower back, there were periods where I didn't even have time to stretch my back out release my psoas or rest on my yoga blocks, so you might say my practice suffered. I even missed writing last weeks blog.
When you are out of flow, you know.
When you are on overload you know.
These are your old habits coming in hot
You can dig deep into your well, you know the one that is specially set aside for going the extra mile?? You might be able to sustain your "I'm can do it all"charade for a few rounds, but eventually your body will demand a time out. I could have easily dug into that well kept going and depleted it.
This time however, was different I paused and reflected on what had to give, I had had already decided what I was going to let go of, so instead of facing that conversation with fear of failure, of letting people down I faced it with gratitude for the opportunity and the work when it was offered to me and further gratitude to myself for letting it go, creating space for myself. Letting go from a place of abundance, as opposed scarcity and failure felt good, it feels like coming back into balance alignment and flow.
Today I rested, read in the sun, ate a big salad, walked the beach and watched multiple episodes of Virgin River on Netflix, tissues on hand. Found a really big gecko living in my fan, chatted with a spider and got a third eye massage from my neighbours hungry cat. All things that are good for the soul, weird but good for my soul. I shut the laptops, got some extra sleep, made time for my practices and meditation went for a walk on the beach ate good food.
I took an adult time out and I may take one again tomorrow
Overworking is an old habit of mine that came in hot to hang out. When I am over working I don't have to explore intimate relationships, I hold people away -hiding behind being busy. Being busy can be my excuse for not focusing on my own business and playing small. Overworking re shuffles my priorities putting me at the bottom of my own to do list. This is not healthy nor is it sustainable.
When left unattended overworking settles like a blanket over our underlying limiting beliefs, whats worse is that we can wear it like a badge of honour with social conditioning having us believing that busyness is the path to success..... However this is slowly changing.
We need to bring kind awareness to our limiting beliefs and let them go, if we don't overworking will own us. When we are always on the go and running around in the busyness, checking our phones, replying to messages emails social posts, whats apps. As overwork becomes our normal we get stuck in perpetual motion. rest becomes difficult because we forget how to, joy becomes inaccessible, we fall back to old patterns to our limiting beliefs, which if remain unchecked result in us remaining unchanged, unhappy and out of alignment.
Many of us feel guilty at simply stopping, constantly feeling that we should be doing more. So how do we step away from this state of play? Here are my top tips and yes I actually apply them!!!
Schedule time away from your devices. yes all of them!
Be brave, let go of things that really are not serving you
Make time for you, prioritise you.
Learnt to sustainably weave the practices of Breath, Yoga Asana & Meditation into your busy life
Find out what it is that brings you joy and do that whole heartedly
This takes practice, when you learn to sustainably weave the practices of breath yoga asana and meditation into your life and if you are constantly showing up for you. These practices change your life.
You begin to re align yourself to your true nature. You create space for your higher potential to bubble up to the surface. You find more joy and happiness
Don't put yourself at the bottom of your todo list, make you your priority.