All the single, all the single anybody Bueller?....Bueller??
Updated: Sep 12, 2020
Ok so if you are not a child of the 80's, that line "Bueller Bueller" is from cult classic Ferris Bueller's day off. Its kind of how I feel about dating. Its a scene in a class room at roll call, Ferris Bueller's (sir) name is called he doesn't answer (its his day off) Like my voice is echoing around the classroom & there is zero response, so eventually, slightly embarrassed like the teacher, I look down at my notes & carry on.
So I was scrollin' the gram last week & a friend of mine posted a dating meme about fish, not pretty oooh aaah aquarium fish ... but deep sea, don't make me look at that kinda fish with the subtitle "what dating in Bali feels like right now" I messaged her straight away we shared a few tears, laughs, knowing silences about being 34 & 50 respectively on Tinder & how Camp Covid is just not helping our cause.
I haven't been in an LTR (long term relationship) for about 5 years. I had personal work to do. My last LTR did not end nice & adulty it was a shit show really, the kind that starts when your partner cheats on you +++ other stuff that really doesn't matter anymore nor does it require rehashing.
In those early .... I haven't done the work yet days.... I mistakenly went on Tinder one time & managed to get invited on a date, I set up the code to call with a girlfriend. With excited anticipation put on my sexy boots & off I went. What a waste of a fabulous outfit. It was sooo un fun & I couldn't wait to leave. At the end of the drastically shortened date the guy told me he thought "we had great chemistry" .....ah, yeah, nah.... my response "thats just me being nice to you, so that I never have to see you again" He called me a few choice sweary, not so nice names, we parted ways never to swipe right again. Ouch. yeah I had a bit of work to do.
FFW to 2019 (having entered the self work phase) Kitty moves to her Pilbara home of 3 years, think West Australia red dirt & mining. Where you would think that in a male dominated FIFO(fly in fly out) community it might find you in a relationship or at the very least in a meaningful (or not) mutually rewarding, deep, horizontal or kitchen bench adult "conversation". It does not. When your work day starts at 4am, 12 day shifts straight then 12 night shift straight & then a week off every one is just grumpy & a) gets out of town b) have just had a baby or is c) drunk down the pub. Yeah, so that went well... Well it did really I opened Port Shed Yoga & created a yoga community!
Move to Bali plenty more fish in the sea my luck will surely change me thinks?
So set my self up in Bali & finding happiness that I had long searched for, the kind where joy literally bubbles up, you check in with your self & have an aha so this is what that feels like! moment! You look around & lots of joy is being experienced everywhere, this is a happy place! ! Surely dating meeting someone who you want to hang out with is possible! I look around at the possibilities, I meet people, I hang out with someone cool for a while its fun like good company dating fun, like trying them on to see if the relationship puzzle pieces fit. It feels more grown up TFFT I am 50 for god sake...
I go on Tinder, I go off Tinder, I go on Tinder I delete the app, I reinstall the app, I delete the app I reinstall the app, 30 seconds & 49 swipes later.... I wonder why, I am here? & delete the app at warp speed . FML seriously this is what dating looks like? Kill me now, glad I am happily single & can look after my own needs. Phew. Any one single not done that?????
Then Camp Covid starts taking enrolments & the Bali fish pond of possibilities empties. We are single, ready to mingle & severely socially distanced & deprived. If we thought Tinder action was previously questionable these may well have been the glory days & that last date the highlight of my Tinder temptations, so unfair & who knows who is hiding behind what mask these days????
There were however a few Tinder moments that were exceptional. These were the ones that I shared with my girlfriends ... Where you take screen shots of potential suitors profiles & seek the advice of your bestie before swiping, they want good things for you!!!
There were moments of absolute hysterics..... I won't lie, some of the best belly laughs ever So boys in your profiles remember we already have the attention span of a goldfish, on Tinder its literally half a goldfish.
1) Put the fish down
2) No kids in your dating profile pix, this is not an adoption service.
3) A photo of you beer in one hand & the other hand grabbing the butt cheek of an unsuspecting scantily clad female is not an appropriate profile pick
4) Hunting pix yeah NUH
5) We honestly don't care how big your fish is & that you are on your mates boat which he is is now living on cause his wife divorced him cause he was always out fishing.
6) No mirror selfies that hide your face, eventually we will have to look at you....
7) A tree or sunset profile shot is not a representation of your inner most spiritual self.
8) Please write a an elevator pitch & include it in your profile, who are you??
9) Get a mate you trust to check it
10) Putting an hourly rate on your profile is not helping no one!!!
11) If you are photoshopping your ex out of your profile snap make sure its professional.
So my love hate relationship with Tinder is currently in its extreme dislike phase, So in light of my seemingly endless singldom Bali, Island of the Gods gifted me with a dog...
Bali Island of the Gods: "Kit here is your dog"
Kit: "I don't want a dog"
Bali Island of the Gods: (silence)...................................(a really long silence)
Kit : "I love you Charlie Pup & I am gonna squeeze all my love into you"
So I have a puppy her name is Charlie she sleeps on the bed & licks me awake, she rides the scooter with me, sits at my feet while I have my morning coffee & gives me crack eyes when I eat papaya. She is totes adorbes.
I wonder what she has been sent to teach me.... I think I know some of the answers.....
She might be a heart opener.... baby steps to a actual human relationship right??
She is teaching me to let love in.
I have also been doing more back bending more heart opening more open.... maybe this is the grand opening of my heart!!!!!
This even I went to a cacao ceremony It was a beautiful introspective journey. What came up for me during the meditation was trust. The message went like this"why don't you trust yourself? Kit its ok Trust your self, your have got this, its ok to trust others & its ok to let others in, you are not alone"
This is why we meditate ... to get deep into that heart space. This message was from within me... my oneness my higher self.
So maybe I will get back on Tinder ... maybe I won't.
I kind of in my heart hope that I will find love in a "meet cute" (in a film or television show) a meet cute is an amusing or charming first encounter between two characters that leads to the development of a romantic relationship between them. e.g.. "it all started with a little meet-cute in a hospital elevator" Well hopefully not a Hospital elevator although its probably pretty possible all things considered ... Perhaps we meet at the local pasar, while we are both buying our favourite fruit watermelon. the gist of this is I hope I will meet some one organically. That we will by some magical divine intervention have this meet cute & live happily ever after.
Maybe I have just watched to many movies.
Would love to hear your Tinder dating success or disaster stories cause sharing is caring!!!