selfies & a self love project
Updated: Feb 4, 2022
Welcome 🙂 If we haven’t met my name is Kit 🙂 adventure food travel sand & sea lover who practices yoga every day & tries not to be mean to the planet 🙂
This is a blog piece that I wrote in July 2018
The past month has seen me working on a little self love project…selfies self love & yoga… you can check it ion insta @perfectly imperfectyogis
At 48 years of age I never like having my photo taken , never liked seeing what the camera captured and certainly never wanted to share photos of the real me anywhere.
I love pictures of my daughter this awesome human that I made there are some photos of her & I that are super special to me… but do I like the photos of me … not. at. all. I was/am hyper-critical and my self talk is usually filled with self loathing and negative comments about me not being good enough.
Ahimsa… nope that was not a concept that existed within the sphere of my existence
Something happened this week…I lost a hero – we all lost a hero Anthony Bourdain to suicide. Was he not enough, where was his self love? We perceived him to have everything… but what is everything.??? I’m thinking that without self love it “everything” is really nothing at all 🙁
To say he was an inspiration is an understatement….. chef & wordsmith the rock & roll star to foodie adventures the world over an extraordinary individual inspired culinary adventurer frank funny flagrant rule breaker he was a hero to me. My thoughts went out to his family & friends. I dedicated my practice to those in personal trauma …..reach out you are loved you are supported.
But where was my self love? Where is your self love at?
So the selfie self love project ended only a few days before the loss of this man that expanded my view of the world, of food, of adventure, of speaking your truth and braving your wilderness….
self-lovenoun a regard for one’s own well-being and happiness.
A simple explanation that is so complex to unravel and is interpreted differently for every human on the planet. How do we find it? do we know it when we have it?
So my project started with Yoga, and posting a yoga selfie every day for 30 days to see if this impacted how I viewed my self, if I could learn to love my self just a little bit more love the skin I am in and the person that I am & the journey…… my life that I am living.
Quite a few things happened over those 30 days.
1) The project made me laugh – a lot –
When you have to take photos your self with your iPhone & a tripod using a timer and video… & you have 10 seconds to get in the frame in a posture you end up taking a lot of pictures of you falling over & of your butt, I learned to a) not take myself so seriously …. I also learned that there is an app that gives you a longer lead time that 10 seconds… so I have time to slow down & get into a posture I learned to b) slow down
2) I got heaps of likes on Instagram
Now this could be viewed as some sort of validation of my practice … perhaps it was – but I am not a shiny bubble perfect, shot yogi I am just a kinda (maybe) normal person that takes to her mat everyday & loves it so I shared it. No room for body (self)shaming. Just me my legs my tummy my cellulite my wrinkles my practice. nb I love yoga-insta-inspiration-posts there is so much sharing and inspiration on social media) But not everything is perfect … see….what is “everything”??
So what happened?? I felt encouraged, I learned more about photography and my posts inspired people to get on their mats & get bendy. I looked past the the me I saw in the photo & committed to posting a snap. When you get an email or a message from some one telling me that my little project had inspired them to give yoga a go or get back on their mat I cried joyful tears cause did I feel beautiful in the photo??… maybe not but the feeling that I got people moving that was beautiful & the messages of love, well they were beautiful …..
We might not have world peace… but if everyone found their own bit of peace & quite (& self love) on their mat … we might be in with a chance🙏
3) I learned about my asana
When you have a home practice you don’t have some one correcting your alignment …its about self study listening & understanding your body….. I lead my own practice & take online classes.
The photos allowed my to see where my asana be at… Did I think I was there and my alignment wasn’t where I felt it was? I was able to feel the adjustment and see the progress through the lens of my iPhone camera. OMG what a revelation!!! Video yourself and see where your shoulders are at in chaturanga dandasana make an adjustment feel the difference… These were oh yeah yoga moments!
Just as an aside…..In an online class the other day led by Alanna Kaivalya she said “the perfect posture is the one we are enlightened in” #lightbulbmoment
I am currently completing my YTT500 and have to frequently upload videos of myself to the mentors for evaluation…. I am way more comfortable with this concept ….Its not an evaluation of how I look……. but the information that I am retaining and how I can impart that as I move into teaching… I don’t feel self conscious about these videos….. I know that if I pass or fail it will make me a better teacher cause I am learning & loving what I am learning
Ahimsa had been introduced my vocabulary a while ago… but I didn’t actively engage in its practice. This has changed I engage this flow of though into my practice and my life everyday… do I loose my way sometimes for sure… but coming back to the thought and keeping it present & flowing with me & not punishing my self for loosing it in the first place (lordy what a cycle) is the very definition of it.
ahimsaəˈhɪmsɑː/noun(in the Hindu, Buddhist, and Jainist tradition) respect for all living things and avoidance of violence towards others.
5)This project made me adventure out into my surrounds!
In order to keep content of the project interesting I went out in search of places of interest in my local area and on my OS journeys I found beaches & sunset spots that I had never been to & snaps of me & my practice & shared them I got out of my comfort zone & became less self-conscious…. now people get to see that Port Hedland is kinda cool!
As well as this I airport asana-ed as I travelled…. #airportasana I knew that I would feel better bending & breathing before they stuffed 365 of us in a flying tube. so I shared that too.
6)I committed more to my meditation & savasana
Learn to sit in silence & love the one you are with.
One of my videos is of a meditation under the rising of the April full moon on the salt flats. Fascinating sitting still, meditating then watching a video back of your breathing & meditating it doesn’t matter how you get there or where you are just that you do ……give your self this gift of time space & breath…. Slowing down & breathing emptying the mind clearing the day to make space for yourself in stillness learning to love the one that you are with…. you.
So I have passed the 30 days now but I will continue with the posts … some days I might miss posting as I am busy, never busy enough to miss getting on my mat that commitment will never wane
I credit yoga & my commitment to my practice over the years with improving my over all well-being, my physical, spiritual and mental health … which was not always, well…..balanced.#thanksyoga
We are forever learning, I am saddened that I have gone through my life with plenty of never good enough self loathing & lack of self-love self talk. But i will not let that define who & where I am now.
I choose love
mantra for self love:
I am loved, I am supported I am worthy of love. Ahimsa